Let’s Go to the Mall …. Today!

August 15, 2009

I decided to go buy some new clothes today.   All of my jeans are too big and I need to buy some bathing suits for my upcoming vacation.   

As I went into Macy’s I started to feel extremely anxious.   My plan was to shop in the regular section, but I was panicked thinking that they would not fit and, more so, that the thought of anyone thinking that I was deluded to think that I could. Was I just fooling myself?  Were people looking at me thinking that I would never fit into the clothes I was holding?  I kept going, because I knew that I fit very comfortably into XL and 14 sizes at 205 pounds.

  I grabbed some flowy extra large tops from INC.  They fit!   And not because they were blousy — they actually fit!   I got a little teary in the dressing room.  Then I walked around the shop like a crazy person saying “I did it!” under my breath.   I’m not kidding.

I also purchased some bathing suits — bathing suit shopping is never fun, but I feel like it sucks for everyone so I didn’t let it get me down too much.  I bought a tankini and then a separate tankini top plus some cute board shorts.

Next, I asked the ladies at the bathing suit counter what floor the jeans were on.  One of them looked at me and said “What size are you?”   I said 14 or 16.   Then they discussed among themselves whether or not I should go to the plus size section, but concluded that the jeans would be too big for me after several pointed stares up and down.   I thought the whole thing was weird — couldn’t they just say where the jeans were?   If I wanted plus sizes, wouldn’t I have asked?  I was a little uncomfortable; however, I feel much better able to hold up to scrutiny, in part because I have lost weight and in part because this process has made me more in tune with and honest about my body.  I bought one pair of size 14 and one pair of size 16 jeans (different cuts) at the Gap.



  1. You did it! You did it! I get your excitement, cool!

    Okay, that is very weird about teh conversation with the clerks. It might have made me uneasy. BUT…a great-big congrats on the size 14 and 16 jeans.

    Why is it that clothes are such different sizes? It’s beyond me.

    Good for you!!!

  2. How wonderful! So glad it was a good experience!

  3. WOW!! That is just fabulous! I’m so happy for you.

  4. am alittle late but congrats! i’m in the same place with my clothes – i totally need to get new clothes but i can’t bring myself to accept that i’ll never be that girl again. i was jumping with joy when i fit into my sz 14.

  5. Completely off topic, but I love the title of this post. HIMYM is one of my favourite shows and the Robin Sparkle episodes are always the best.

    Congratulations on moving into “regular” sized clothing! It’s long been one of my goals.

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