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Lingering Self-Doubt

May 29, 2009

I finally managed to take a few days off from the scale.  I saw a 4 plus pound drop this morning, which I’m still a little suspicious of.   If that’s right, I’m at 20.8 pounds gone!   I have never lost that much weight on purpose in all of my life. 

Part of me is celebrating.  But there’s a cloud of doubt hovering over this little party.   I still have desires to comfort myself with food.   I feel like I can’t fight those demons forever. 

I am loving this plan, but won’t I fall off the wagon soon?   And when I fall off, what if I take too long to get back on?   What if I never get back on?

And when I lose this weight, how can I maintain it?   Do skinny people have desires to eat a four pack of cupcakes?   Do they have binge days?   I have trouble envisioning that I can function normally in the long-term.   Will I stop having these urges?   Can I retrain my brain?

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